Life is not a race Marthadahhling

I was always the kid that was in a rush to grow up, I got my belly button pierced at 13 (why); I ran out and got my first job as soon as I turned 16 (despite my parents being more than supportive); I insisted upon booking my first driving lesson the day after my 17th birthday and I got my first tattoo before I even turned 18. I don't know where I was rushing to!

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of attending an Inspirational Women in Law conference at my university. It was an insightful event featuring Inspirational Women from BAME backgrounds who had pushed through glass ceilings and achieved wonderful things in their careers. One particular message really stood out to me and it's something that I have to keep reminding myself every day - your life is not a race.

Somehow, there's an underlying expectation that we'll pop out of uni and magically have it all sorted. I'm not entirely sure where that expectation or pressure comes from because when speaking to people nobody actually expects you to present them with a 5 year plan for world domination but paradoxically not having a plan is also met with suspicion and pity. Your undecidedness is perceived as lack of direction, drive or ambition. All this underlying pressure is only exacerbated when it seems your peers have got their next three moves lined up whilst you haven't even found your chessboard!

But life is not a race.

In your life, you set your own timescale. Tweet this

Being undecided is not the same as lacking direction, drive or ambition. Rejecting the well trodden path or the path of least resistance is not always the smartest move. Comparing yourself to other people is a surefire way to kill your own happiness. You can't compare your chapter 3 to someone else's chapter 7 and even though they make it look like they had it all figured out from day 1, they probably didn't.

Have faith that it will somehow work out and that in your life you set your own timescale.


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Martha xo